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Constellation means positioning in order. If there were no order in the cosmos the stars could collide creating chaos.
The same happens in our family system.
When there is not order, conflict is created. The systemic order creates a harmonious and organic flow for the whole the system.
We are all connected to the memories of the past. We not only inherit the genetics but the memories of survival from our ancestors. Many of these memories get activated in us when we feel triggered by those fears, frustrations, suffering or traumas that our ancestors lived.
All the unresolved conflicts of our ancestors pulse within us, the descendants, and might be affecting our health, finances, relationships, behaviors, and even our decisions. Until one of the descendants gets to identify and re-conciliate the conflict, all the members of the system get affected by it.
Yes! The memories of our past are held in the collective soul. All the memories of our past, our parents and our ancestors are there. The collective soul is like an old library that holds all the books that talk about history. We only need to search the books that hold those memories that are affecting us.
In a group session, the person who is constellating asks the other participants to represent the members of his or her family system. The resonance of the memory to resolve is still active so it is possible to identify the root of the conflict and what is related to. After identifying it, and through a representation of a new image and some wording, the reconciliation happens. The main goal is to change the feeling of conflict for a feeling of conscious acceptance, release, recognition, integration, inclusion, or acknowledgment. Some movements are made between the participants until all members of the family feel a sense of wellness and peace.
In a one on one session, we use wood figures to represent the members of the system.
There are three systemic laws in Constellations: the law of belonging, the law of hierarchy and the law of
Equilibrium (inclusion, order and balance).
The law of belonging: We all belong to the system or clan. There is a tendency to exclude those members of the clan who are disapproved in society or in the family system for their behaviors. But what is hidden or excluded is destined to come back because it is looking to belong. Therefore, some of the descendants may identify with the excluded ones by behaving similar o the same way as their ancestors ones. The excluded ones only need to be included, recognize or seen to change the chain of dysfunction.
The law of hierarchy. We all have a place in the system. When the members exchange the roles between the system, that creates conflict. There is an order of priority and precedence that needs to be honor and respected for the members of the system to flow organically.
The law of balance: we should not give more of what we have or take more of what we need. There is an order between giving and receiving. For instance, parents should give children love, security and eventually the freedom to fulfill their destiny. On the other hand, children, in gratitude, honor their parents for the life they have been given and by accomplishing their goals. When the balance weights more on one side, it creates conflict and burdens for the one that takes too much or for the one who gives too much.
Bert Hellinger was the founder of Family Constellations. His work is based on family therapies such as the Gestalt, the Primal therapy, the Transactional therapy, the Transgenerational, some concepts of the analytical psychology of Carl Jung and Freud, the psychodrama, and the Sociology. Later, Hellinger developed the systemic laws and gave birth to what we know today as Family Constellations.
We all came to serve our system. It is one of our missions. When we humbly put ourselves at the service of life and decide to heal our memories of the past, we can understand that healing ourselves can help heal not only our system but also the collective system.
